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Live Life As it Is – The Psychology of Defeat

Imagine yourself as follows: You were on the last lap of a race; you are now in first position, leading all the way with victory almost in your hands. You could smell the champagne and your heartbeat is immeasurable. Instantly you are pushing your car, eager to cross the finish line. Then suddenly in the last corner of the circuit, your engine starts to malfunction, it stops and the car loses power. Finally your car stops just a hundred meters from the finish line.

What’s your reaction ? You feel like the sky is falling on you. You feel like crying, all hope deserts you and hurts your pride. You get frustrated and start walking with your shoulder down like a prisoner.

The situation you described above is an analogy of what often happens in our real life. With the expectations so high, we are left with nothing but great disappointment. You thought you had a perfect plan, then suddenly everything is working against you and nothing is left in your favor. What’s wrong with this situation?

Some know how to handle pressure and some don’t. Some people like to be pressured and others think they are destined to lose their lives.

As in all sports, in this life you must achieve victories and defeats. Although you work hard and come up with a perfect plan, you can’t always aim for success on a daily basis. There will be a time – even once in a lifetime – when things don’t go your way. There may be people more passionate than you, more fortunate, perhaps in a slightly advantageous position. Most of the time, you will not realize this possibility. When you are in the most difficult condition of your life, you simply feel that you were not born to be a champion, and therefore nothing you can do can do you any favors.

It takes time and maturity to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s hard to keep a cool head and keep doing your best, no matter what the outcome.

Your expectation may or may not favor you at all. A wise man once said that the higher the level of expectation, the lower the level of satisfaction. And that’s true. The future is not yours. You don’t have to think about anything in the future. Just think about the gift and give your best. Live your moment now. The only reality is the current situation. The past could not be relived and the future might never come.

Now imagine yourself back in the race, but at a slightly different time. Instead of the situation in the last lap, you now return to the start: before the start. It’s the last race of the season and you’re leading the championship just 1 point ahead of your toughest competitor. You were the poleman. Your expectations and those of your fans are excruciatingly high. You really want to win. The excitement inside is over the limit and just sets your heart almost on fire.

Then you think more deeply, that this sport is what it is. It’s just for fun, thrill, exhilaration and pleasure. You have nothing to do with whether or not your name is in the record books! You don’t care if you finish in the top ten or not. You just want to do your job that you love as well as you can and the finish line is a different world to think about later.

As in real life, you have to learn to adapt and accept it. You must also learn to live for yourself, your own ideals, your own goals, and your own reality. No matter what people might think, you won’t be swayed by all the emotions and praise. Whether others slap you or lift you up, it’s the same for you.

You give the best of yourself. With the very normal expectation, you live your life as it is. Sometimes you fail, sometimes life knocks you down. But you never complain, you go on, calmly, and try to do your best.

Life is about your choice. You can blame others for your loss, or you could learn from it and strengthen your steps to achieve the next victory. A loss today only means you have to win tomorrow. Don’t shed tears after failure and always control your expectations. Do it all for yourself, for your own pride. The result will follow, including success.

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