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Boxing – Rebecca Romijn and The Tooth Fairy
Periodic friggin INSOMNIA – my sworn enemy.
But my loss is your gain, because when the 2 a.m. muse rings, I do some of my best scribbling. . .
Tonight’s topic – “How do you know you got there?”
Outside of that theme, I’m going to weave in some winning sports betting information for you, though I’ll warn you that it may be a circuitous route – after all, it’s 2am.
“If I can do it there, I’ll do it anywhere, New York, New York.”
As an actor, how do you know you’ve arrived? When you got to Broadway. (If you don’t understand the difference between being an actor and a movie star, I refer you to Peter O’Toole in “My Favorite Year”, he will clear the matter up nicely for you. of this site, I give you one of his most memorable lines, one that I quote often, “Double that bet for me, you toad!”) If you’ve never been to Broadway, I suggest you make the trip at least once before croaking (“croaking” staying with the toad theme started above). A dinner and a show is an amazing experience. I’ve done it many times, in fact, I admit – “Les Miserables” hits my turntable (turntable?) as much as The Stones or Costello.
But, there are two downsides to Broadway – the best shows are sold out, which means you have to get a girl, because if you go with your buddies, you can’t get the obligatory empty seat between you, even though I suspect that even if the theater was only half full, a lot of men would be sitting next to each other anyway, if you understand me. I once took my girlfriend to the movies – “Rain Man” – and noticed that there were a lot of guys in the theater, seated without the required seating spacing mentioned above. I commented on it, and she said it was just my imagination, then called me paranoid, homophobic. When I went to get some popcorn, I asked the lobby boy as he buttered my kernels, “Hey, is it just me, or are there a lot of guys here tonight?” He told me that Sunday night was a “gay night” – through no promotion or fault of their own, theater management were slightly disturbed to discover that their joint had become some sort of regular Sunday night hangout for homosexual men. I told her they should have warning signs, and said to my date, “I’m glad I asked you to join me tonight instead of one of my buddies. “
But I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, Broadway and two downsides.
The second is this – sometimes the star goes on sick leave and you get stuck with expensive ducats to see an understudy. Once I went to see “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”. Featured were young, pre-‘Will & Grace’ Megan Mullaly (pretty rack) and Matthew Broderick, (and I disagree, but Sarah Jessica Parker is in no way shape or form anything appealing). which pretty much sucks except for “Biloxi Blues” with Christopher Walken doing a great Sgt. Toomey. In his place we got stuck with John Stamos, who sucks more than Broderick, although in his defense I have to say he managed to fuck Rebecca Romijn, who is very different from Jessica Parker: you know, a chick is hot when she’s blue and scaly and you look at her and always think, “Oh yeah, I would.”
But I digress. For the second time. What was the subject? Oh yeah, “When did you ‘do it?'”
We’ve covered theatre, let’s move on to athletics. How do you know that you have succeeded in sports? Easy – when you get to the “show” – the major leagues.
The following conversation took place once, when I was a child: Me: “Mom, my tooth came out.”
Mom: “Keep it and put it under your pillow tonight.”
Me: (looking at the piece of dead enamel in my hand) “Why the hell would I want to do that?”
Mom: “So the tooth fairy will come tonight while you sleep, take her and leave yourself a quarter for her.”
I threw it in the trash.
Mom: “Why did you do that?”
Me: “Oh yeah, sure, that’s what I want, to wake up in the middle of the night and see a fairy hovering above me. I’d be completely scared, and probably forever scarred and suffering from insomnia .for the rest of my life (and you wondered what this paragraph was doing here, right?)
But I digress. Times three (Cut me a break, it’s two twenty in the morning!)
Back on topic – when did you do it? In boxing, and coming to the point of this column, you know you’ve succeeded when you’ve beaten a guy’s bejeezuz and become the world champion. But as a boxing promoter, how do you know you’ve made it? When you made a profit on a promotion? No. When one of your fighters wins a title? No. To really make it as a boxing promoter, I say you gotta win a fighter in a fight where he gets fired shit. You can’t really be considered on the level of King, Arum, or Goosen until you reach that milestone. And Golden Boy Productions arrived.
A few weeks ago I wrote on my blog that when I watch sports I do so with two minds – one rooting for my money in this particular contest, the other watching the things I can use it to benefit from it later. I said on the radio show that when I was at ringside in Barrera against Marquez, I learned something that I think could serve us well in the future.
There are many ways to, oh, how can I say this, use “pre-adjust the result of a fight”.
You can “bribe” either fighter to dive.
You can “prompt” the referee to take points off whenever possible.
You can “tilt” the ring doctor to stop him if he gets the chance.
And of course, there’s the ever-popular “you can grease your hand” from the judges.
Or you can do none of the above and still have the fight in the bag. How? Judges are paid. The judges like to work the fights. Judges are chosen for fights by promoters (don’t let state rules and commission requirements confuse you on this issue.) Then make sure your scorecard favors their heavyweight title contender in this promotion.
The night Marquez beat Barrera, Golden Boy Productions prodigy Demetrius Hopkins was beaten, soundly, by Steve Forbes. The judges’ scorecards? 118-110, 118-110, 117-111. Everything for Hopkins. This, despite COMPUBOX’s tally of FORTY more POWER shots landed for Forbes. This, in front of all the fans who shouted “BULLS@%#” in unison. This, despite scribes and ringside writers who had similar disparaging scores – but all for Mr. Forbes. These judges secured future paychecks from Golden Boy Productions. GBP is owned by ODL – Oscar De La Hoya.
As a promoter, Oscar has clearly arrived. De La Hoya fights Floyd Mayweather next month.
Do what you want with this info, I’m going back to bed
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